Becoming Undone
by This.Lonely.Hour
Summary: SasuxNaru. 'Just because I can't stay doesn't mean we can't be together, you know that, right' Contains spoilers and my usual angst written crap. Semi song fic. OOC like most yaoi fanfiction .


**Quick Authors Note: Yes, I know my tenses got messed up, okay don't have to rub it in, just enjoy this fanfic…The song it Pieces by Red. I DO NOT OWN RED OR NARUTO…BELIEVE IT XD**

_I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
_

The rain was a sour reminder of things I would rather put in the past. Things that would make my brain ache, my throat go dry, my eyes water. Such things were torturous, but not in a horrifying way, more in a way I had failed myself and my friend.

Just a soft whispering of misting rains against my skin, and I could feel myself break down, my thinkings go awry, my lips tremble, my armor fall down into millions of pieces at my feet and blow away with the wind. But I act masochistic, I tilt my face up into the pain and let is wash down on me, let these rains wash away feelings that I bottled up and bring them up into the clouds just to let them shower down on me in the form of teardrops from the heavens.

I can almost imagine they are his tears, just almost, and that I'm actually being forgiven…almost.

-Chapter one: These hands-

Palm readers say that they can tell your future by reading your palm, see what financial paths you will have and if your romance will be forever or just drop like a rock on the dirt. I wonder if palm readers could read my callused palms, the ones marked by cuts and dried, forever soaked in blood. I wonder if they could see what hellish torture I had gone through my whole life just to find out that I had killed someone that loved me that allowed me to kill him, I could have just let my revenge go and let the man kill himself from the insaneness of going blind. But I had to go and be a stubborn ass and leave everyone, leave everything even though I knew that I was not going to be getting it back if I ever just trotted back into Kohona with a big smile on my face and little birds following behind me singing about my victory. No, I knew the moment I had left I would never be welcomed back, I was even surprised that they had sent Naruto after me.

No, it just wasn't Naruto, but the whole concept that they had sent him was quite mind blowing. The one person I could relate to, even though our childhoods had been complete opposites. Naruto Uzumaki, who had grown up so much, who had reached out to me in the dark…and I had slapped his hand away, deluded, caught up in my own existence and obsessions of revenge and homicidal lustings.

Naruto had grown up so much since I had last seen him, not counting when my shadow clone saw him because that was just a replica of myself, not even connected by genes or DNA. The Naruto I saw, the one I almost killed again but held myself back against (out of pure pity, friendship, or the odd idea of love…?) it, this Naruto had a pure look of terror in his cerulean eyes, his full lips turned down at the sides, his voice shaky and almost cracked as he tried to remind me of the past, of better times, but back then I had crawled inside my shell and blocked out everything. So I ignored his constant pleas and everyone else's. But I acted, either out of kindness, pity, or loving (once again) and ran off. (I myself think it was out of fear then, fear that my emotions would get out of control and smudge my judgment.)

I look back to my foolishness, my throat is cotton dry as usual, though now I think it is my lust for a regular life or some delusion near it, something that could convince that I am still human and have a knack for the common good. I want to go back to the easy days of my childhood, though I think it would be better if my father was not so judgmental on me and more favorable to my older brother (if he were alive back then, I would actually like to bring him back.) (I also think this would better my mental health and not make me so angst-ridden.)

In my opinion the palm readers would have a difficult time reading my palm, or any part of me for that matter because of how secluded I have become over the short span of three years in my asinine training that I could have gone without. That maybe if I had stayed in Kohona I could have lived a better life, a life that was full of happiness and friends, if I had let myself open a little more back then maybe I would be better off now and not walking back on a dark road…back to the place I had spent thirteen years of my life…to my village of Kohona.

My eyes scan over this place, filled with fake merriment and overjoyed townspeople, people who still don't understand true pain and torture, who thought that the attack that happened three and a half years ago by Orochimaru had been the worse thing that could happen to them. Didn't they realize that the Akatsuki could attack them at any moment, surely nowadays they had much better militia and nins ready for a assault or anything close to that…I hoped for the pitiful sakes that they did.

Yes, if you could have noted by now I am a very belittling person when it came to other people. Not myself, no, I knew that I had power… I had just abused it in the past and mental health problems had clouded my judgments and made me think wrong was right, as vice versa.

Fireflies spun lazily in failed attempts at patterns, their lights like mini beacons that lit my face up and made me wish I had stayed up in that tree a little longer. My eyes dropped and I yawned into my hand, hearing my jaw crack. It sounded so loud and alarming that I jumped up and got into a more defensive position, but then I realized it was just me that had made the sound and relaxed. Shoving my hands deep into my pockets I gazed upon the obnoxiously large gates of Kohona. I shiver under my yukata top and wrap my arms around me, rubbing them up and down my shoulders over the small goosebumps that lay out like a map on my skin. My brain is screaming at me to run far away from this place, but I feel as though I should follow my heart and try and at least talk to Naruto before running away.

I acted childishly and stupidly and follow my heart; I hope I don't regret this choice later.

Not to my surprise there is no one up at this hour except for the people that are playing at the newly installed Pachinko bar (Betting the fifth Hokage put those babies in…) or just mulling around, I keep my head down and keep to the shadows, hoping no one will recognize me now, not when I was so close. I take a deep breath and focus my chakra to see if I can find Naruto, I find it with ease, it's grown even stronger from the last time. I'm surprised I don't grind my teeth in frustration at that, I always wanted to be the stronger one, maybe killing my brother who I thought was one of my the most powerful ninjas ever made it dawn upon me that I am strong enough, and if I learn anything else it will be either below me or just another application to my wide range of jutsus. I follow Naruto's red chakra lines, had he permanently turned to Kyubbi's inner power now? Was he going to be the same Naruto, I quicken my pace and try to ignore the pounding in my heart and the sweat that is coating my palms besides the fact that the wind seems even cooler. Perhaps I am breaking out in a cool sweat…but this was not the time to think about it.

Naruto's chakra lines were most potent at his house, but I noticed the most recent ones were branching out towards the more wooded area that was near Naruto's house; I smirked to myself and shook my head. Training at this hour was not that surprising of the spontaneous, knuckle headed ninja. "I should just leave him." I said to myself, or if you counted them I corresponded with the stars.

"Why, may I ask that?" My body stiffens and I turn to see tanzanite eyes burning into my own onyx eyes, his face unreadable. My lips part on their own, not knowing what to say though, or was that just my confused brain. "Sasuke, is that you?" His voice sounds so far away, I feel myself stutter, heat rush up to my face…I'm not blushing, you can trust me on that one. I feel dizzy, sick, confused; I feel the world tilt underneath my feet and my form sway. "Sasuke?!" His voice farther away, it sounds scared, genuine worry lacing it. I bring up my hands to my chin and shove my face into my palms, taking deep breaths. I feel his hand on my back and I shiver with the slightest convulsion.

I regret nodding because it just sends my head into further spirals, black rims the edge of my sight but I clear the shadows away by looking back up at him. "Fine." I croak, my breathing shuddering and light, weak, almost if I am having an asthma attack.

"It's you, oh my God, it is you!" His voice cracks even though it's hushed; it's such a silky sounding voice. I close my open lips and slowly stand away from him, keeping my eyes right on me (as he did the same.) "What are you doing here, Sasuke?" He tries to hide the emotions in his voice, but I realize them in his eyes, signs of overjoyment and excitement.

"I killed Itachi." My reply is short and frank; I smirk as I see Naruto's jaw drop and his eyes go wide, making him looking childish and innocent.

"You killed him? So, you can stay here now…you won't leave?" Naruto whispers, his voice wavering. I begin to nod but then shake my head.

"Well, I can't really stay here." I say, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice, Naruto's hand closes around my wrist.

"Why not?" He asks, his voice strong but his eyes pleading, he really had grown up…The Naruto I used to know would have started screaming at me calling me a 'Bastard that doesn't know anything!'

"Because of what I've done, Naruto." I say in a comforting voice, letting my fingers ghost over his knuckles, watching his reaction as he averted his eyes.

"Screw it all, I can tell Tsunade…I can tell her…" Naruto broke off, a look of frustration crossing over his saddened face. "Teme, why'd you have to do it?" He gritted out, rolling his eyes.

I couldn't hold it in anymore, a huge laugh escaped my lips followed but a lot more, Naruto stared at me as if I were some type of alien species. "Teme, what the fuck?"

"There's the Naruto I knew." I manage out, smothering down my laughs into a 'coughing fit'. "Not this over emotional one…" I smirk as my laughter finally stops and I run my left fingers up his arm and onto his shoulder, enjoying the way he shivers under my delicate touch. "This Naruto, the one right here, seems very eager to keep me here."

"Well, of course, I was like that back then." Naruto tries his best to keep his eyes off my hand as I brush it against the nape of his neck. "I didn't want you to leave." He mumbles.

"I know that." I push my fingers up into his hair as he makes a sound of surprise. "But this Naruto seems to be reacting quite oddly to what I'm doing; the old one would probably just hit me." I press my body against his watching as his eyes go wider. "In my opinion this Naruto may have a crush on me; may I ask if I am correct?" My lips ghost over his own quivering ones.

He mumbles my name, pressing his lips against mine, making me almost jump for victory (though being a very 'angst-ridden' teen as I said before I don't), I kiss him softly. "You know…" I whisper against his open mouth "You can always come with me."

"Teme, and let down the village I'm going to become Hokage for? Dream on."

The Naruto I knew is still there, just buried under years of maturity.

"You still have that foolish dream." I enjoy how our bodies fit together. "I was tempted to kiss you a long time ago, when you caught me."

"After you jumped in front of the needles, Haku's needles…" His voice is soft, his fingers entangle with mine.

"To save your chicken ass."

"You have chicken ass hair." He retorts. I feel my lips turn up at the corner…yea he still is there.

_TBC_


End file.
